The Banana Industries Times, October 9th Issue

Bus driver allegedly stops at Buffalo Wild Wings in the middle of bus route, yells profanity

I’m going to put a hard emphasis on the “allegedly” because this is just too good to be true. One of our affiliates overheard that on October 8th, one of the substitute bus drivers was yelling profanity and stopped at BUFFALO WILD WINGS to get food. What has our society come to? I’d like to reassure y’all that what we say is ain’t nothin’ but the truth. This is the reality of Parkway’s public transportation. Absolutely wild. If we get updates, we will add them to this story.

“Gyatt” thing absolutely out of control

Now, Banana Industries ain’t no snitches, so I’m just going to say that Gyatt stands for Great Young Athletic Talented Teenager. Gyatt is some TikTok trend where, pretty much whenever somebody turns around, you squeal at the top of your lungs “GYATT!”. It’s gone beyond students saying it at other students, now students are squealing it when teachers turn around. Like, seriously. Someone in a wheelchair spins around? “GYATT!” Y’all are crazy.

“Thermonuclear War” between the people who play that one kickball game at recess and the soccer players

Last week, there’s been somewhat of a conflict between those who play soccer at recess and those who play that one goofy game with the kickball. After the soccer ball had somehow mysteriously disappeared, the soccer people decided to use the kickball instead. This, however, led to a short dispute between the two groups, which ended in the kickball people taking the ball back. Then, the soccer people began to circle around the wooden thing where they play that one game with the kickball and try to take it back when it leaves the playing area. One soccer person got a hold of the ball, who then passed it to another soccer person, who kicked it over by the door that leads to the parking lot where we have recess. However, the kickball people were able to get it back for the rest of the recess. In a surprising turn of events, the kickball people threw the kickball towards the ball bin, but a soccer person, who was described by the kickball people as an “ugly blonde white boy”, picked up the ball and kicked it onto the roof.

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