Hey, I'm the guy who owns this website. This little press release, albeit more of a blog post, is here to explain why Banana Industries exists, how it came to exist, and the flaws with Parkway's execution of newspaper's and student government. If you don't care one single bit about the above, don't read this. It doesn't say anything very important, it's not another issue of the Banana Industries Times. This blog post will be more personal rather than informal like how the times are. Anyways, here's the rant about Parkway that ended up being 1300 words long.
In the 2021-2022 school year, I (y'all really think I'm saying who i am? that's crazy) was bored one day and I thought to myself, "Hey, why don't I make a little newspaper for my school?" So, I sat down and wrote about stuff. I put a single copy of the issue under the stall in the bathroom, and never thought about it again. So, whoever has it, look at what that led to. Anyways, Banana Industries (originally The Boys LLC) was founded in the 2021-2022 school year to do mischievous things and also somewhat provide what Parkway couldn't: a fun experience for the students, whether or not that meant making a newspaper, a minecraft server (not up yet, it exists but too lazy to write instructions at the moment, if you're interested in helping write an email to support@banana.industries, we'll sort it out, anyone can help as long as you have an internet connection, the latest version of minecraft, and the online subscription if your on console), or allowing students to express their concerns about the school somewhere else than the flawed student council system, more on that later. We haven't really done much publicly until this year, so this is our first year of full-blown operation. You're all witnessing history, folks.
As previously stated, Banana Industries aims to provide what Parkway couldn't: a censorship free place for students to express their opinions, socialize with each other, and share events happening in our "community". (by the way, would y'all teachers stop saying that word? like come on, like we're just a bunch of idiots who branch up because the school system made us do it) Additionally, a motive that has driven up over the past year was Parkway's flawed student council. If you wanted to communicate an issue in the school to the administration, the "proper" way to do it was to tell your student council representative, and have them share it at a student council meeting. But what if a council member disagrees with your opinion? They won't bring it up, then. And it's not like we can verify that they did or did not, they don't record the sessions or anything. And we don't elect them, they submit an application to join, and for all we know, the entire application review process may be biased and rigged to oblivion. And don't get me wrong, I think student council elections would have many flaws.
Furthermore, a member (I don't like using the term "employee" because it sounds like they're on payroll, but they're really not) of Banana Industries who was a former student council member would like to add that, "the students don't even get to vote who represents them. Also, I did nothing in the student council because everything was planned ahead of time like what kind of fascist school is so horrible that they wont even let students choose who represents them?" Whilst the term "fascist" may be over exaggerating, his point still stands. According to him, the administration of his former school came up with all the issues and had the student's debate on how to solve them, so really it's more of a debate club than a student council.
Next, school newspapers. The need to create a student newspaper became clear when we all watched the Viking Voice video in community time. The Viking Voice focuses on what Parkway wants you to hear: "good" behavior happening in our "community", reminders to do something, etc. Banana Industries was founded with mischievousness in mind, and let's face it, good behavior is pretty much never interesting. You'll see that after this next newspaper issue comes out on Monday. Oh yeah, also, all issues will be coming out on the first day of the school week, but that's besides the point. All you hear is positive things that misrepresent the school. This is the same school who had scholars that set a fire in a bathroom not that long ago. Why do you think when you turn on the news on the television nowadays, all it is is negative stuff, like politics, global warming, etcetera? It's because it's the negative stuff that actually affects us, it's the negative stuff that actually interesting. This is the same school who got vandalized by "an absolute thug" (we don't know who it was, sorry) by drawing a satanic symbol outside an exit door. The Viking Voice isn't really a voice, it's a highly censored "news" outlet that highly misrepresents our school. Although, you can't really blame Parkway for that, because why would they actively criticize their own school?
Banana Industries mitigates these issues by creating a student administered platform for students to express their concerns. Now, you may be thinking, "Doesn't a student-administered platform have the same issue with representatives not bringing up things during meetings, but instead it's you not putting things in the paper?" That is true, however if we don't, you have proof we didn't because you sent an email to us, as opposed to you just telling someone of the student council to do something. You don't have any evidence to incriminate them, but you do with us. That's why the Banana Industries Promise™ exists. We'll try our best to include your opinion in the paper, and if it doesn't get there in time to make the cut, we'll email you back.
One of the primary goals of Banana Industries is to be as uncensored as possible, but unfortunately there's a limit to just how much we can say. You may or may not have come to this post because of the lastest edit to the September 5th issue of the Banana Industries Times that removed a story after a complaint from the Parkway. Well, that story was deemed defamatory towards the two people involved in that story, who were named by their own name. Depending on what the story is about, this can be understandable. I mean, what if we falsely reported that someone said a racial slur? That could ruin somebody's social life. But to what extent does Parkway have the power to censor us? If we were to report that one of the teachers said some messed up things, with microphone evidence and multiple eyewitnesses to back it up, does Parkway still have the power to censor us? We think not.
This post is not supposed to be a call to war against Parkway, it's meant to point out the many flaws in Parkway's student government and news. You shouldn't be sending emails with loads of profanity to Doctor Martin and Co. or vandalizing the school. Although we are known for "waking up in a new bugatti", and "not making peace like Gandhi", professionals have standards. This is a call to action for Parkway to change their ways, and although solutions aren't pitched in this post, the problems highlighted in this post should be enough of a head start to begin correcting the mistakes with student government and news.
Your move, Parkway.
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